my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
