I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
