after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
