ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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