6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
