my mouth tastes like poor choices
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
