Who did Billy Mays play for?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
