Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
