Don't you send me to vm
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you win again, gameday.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
