whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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