I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
