hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize