It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
this hospital has no fireball
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
