It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
