you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You are the jesus of drinking
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
