Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
