I must be too annoying 4 u.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
