I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize