Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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