While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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