you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
