Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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