you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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