I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
