I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
