Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This is classic penis vs brain.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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