Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
