That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
