Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
