I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
