Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize