I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this will be a night to untag.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
