A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
