Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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