we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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