So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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