First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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