Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
