You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize