try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
