there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
