Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
