you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
