addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize