Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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