What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
