Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
