i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
