Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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