the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
