I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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