Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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