we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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