I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
