Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
