All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just gargled with NyQuil
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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