24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
they're like a gay fantastic four
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
