have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize