Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
