I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
